God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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