I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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