This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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