im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
