Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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