I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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