just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
