I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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