U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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