So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
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STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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