he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
