she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize