So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
