1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
