Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize