So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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