I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize