Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
