found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
