at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
pop tarts are not kleenex
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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