I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
