I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
