it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
