Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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