I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
