smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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