some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
