Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
