Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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