it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize