His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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