if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
