I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
