So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
