i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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