We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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