i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize