Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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