Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
