Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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