not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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