Fine. I'll sleep in my office
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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