You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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