If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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