Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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