I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
How's work?
Spinning.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
