A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
