We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
