Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
