Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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