I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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