so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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