I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dicks are not precious.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
