And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
