you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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