And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
