What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
