I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
