College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
