His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
