so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
