dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
